the LAME end!

Here we are at the end of our time with Jake

After months of that smile and laugh that are so fake...

He is down to his final rose

We're all waiting in suspense to see who stays and who goes!

It has been quite a flight

Starting on that very first night

With a two headed quarter, a feather and sand

To Vienna touching his abs with her hand

A Cambodian girl talking about her landing strip

And not one but two girls who tripped

We then had some drama with Roz

Which after she was booted Vienna would then cause

A trip to Sea World with the kid

And a comedy club outing where all the jokes were stupid

A jump off a bridge that then put Vienna ahead

While all we could do was shake our heads!

Then they head for a trip up the coast

After the end of the week remaining girls' toast

The group date from hell in the sand

That ends up in a hotel where Ashleigh's touching gets out of hand

Then we learn more about Gian than simply her clothes

And a two on one date that ends with Jake burning a rose

The next stop is San Francisco for some fun

And Vienna and Gia get the two on one

Tenley and Jake have their date in China town which to them seems foreign

Then Jake and Corrie have a date that is rather borin'

Ali gets to show him around her city

Which involves a make out session in the park that isn't pretty

New York is the first town of the hometown dates

And the date ends with Gia's mom determining their fates

Then Jake in his stupid scarf and gloves

Heads to the house of the grandmother that Ali loves

The date in Oregon is the best part

As Tenley shows him the dance from her heart

The last date is in the Florida sun

And after meeting Vienna's family it is clear he should RUN!

But alas Ali chooses her job over Jake

Which means Jake doesn't have a decision to make

Off to the island of St. Lucia the final three go

They all choose the fantasy suite and...you know

Ali calls Jake with a plea

But Jake tells her he has fallen more in love with the other three

Gia is sent home at the end

Which brings us to this journey's final bend...

Is it Tenley and her squeaky high voice...

Or the trashy girl from Florida for his final choice?!

We'll have to wait and see who this pilot that soars above

Chooses on this final episode of ON THE WINGS OF LOVE

And so the final episode begins with the two remaining girls meeting Jake's family.

Tenley is up first and not surprisingly the family LOVES her! She has Jakes dad in tears many times and just fits right in with the family. They all tell Jake how much they love her. Then...

it is Vienna's turn to meet the family who is already very skeptical of her (and rightfully so!). She is asked and given many chances to redeem herself which I don't believe she ever really does, however at some point and somehow she gets back in their good graces and they tell Jake they like her as well. I personally feel the whole visit was painful...but I am sure ABC helped to make sure we thought that.

Then it is time for what the Bachelor has deemed last chance dates...

Vienna and Jake go to the sulfur hot springs which she is disgusted by until she realizes they can smear mud all over each other and then...

make out under a waterfall. They end the date back at her place and overall it seems like they had a great day...DARN IT!!

Tenley's date is a boat ride and snorkeling...and Jake telling her there is not much chemistry, so...

Tenley does her best to show Jake that chemistry when they are back at her place, meanwhile we are all telling her to give up and he is not worth it...but oh well.

Then there is the choosing of rings...the back and forth...and then ALAS...Jake has made his decision. Is it just me, or if you are the girl he DOES proposed to are you not going to be a little thrown off seeing how long it takes him to decide and then he proposes what 2 hours later? Oh well...

None of us are too surprised as we see Tenley get out of the helicopter first after their flop of a date. Tenley is gracious and even upbeat on her goodbye...Jake...this is you making a BIG mistake!

Then he pulls a "mesnick" and cries on the railing...then he rallies and...

his Hooters girl, I mean his love arrives...

after a drawn out returning of her promise to not elope again ring from her father (which in and of itself should be sending off sirens in his head) he gets down on one knee and makes what is probably the biggest mistake of his life

We did agree that this was probably the best Vienna looked the ENTIRE show. We still are missing the "smoking hot" girl he keeps talking about.

Fast forward to After the Final Rose

First Chris brings out Tenley and makes her watch her sad departure, then digs the knife in a little more, then it is time for some answers from Jake.

Of which Tenley gets none. I have to post the line from my favorite blogger here because I was laughing so hard while reading it this week "It wasn't really physical, he goes on to say, before repeating about 100 times that he doesn't know why he didn't feel it with Tenley. Well, that's the Bachelor for you: a riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside a dumbass."

Then it is time for his "baby" (gag) to come out and grace us with this lovely kiss before they go on to tell us how happy they are, how the tabloids are unfair, and how she is moving to Dallas.If this picture doesn't make you want to puke a little bit then I am pretty sure you didn't watch this season that closely!

And finally the news we all already knew...Ali will be the next Bachelorette going with ABC's theme of not picking anyone new to be on these shows! But...I am sure I will still watch it.

Other recaps of the week: My favorite blog here, Chris Harrison here and Jake here

BEST NON-SHOW QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

"Tenley is the wife he thinks he needs, but then he realizes he has a kinky side."

"He loves her like a sister...LYLAS."

"His shirt is off...no it's not it is just flesh colored."

"They didn't jump in the pool (talking about Jake and Vienna)...her dress was white...you think that would stop her?!"

"There has to be something fundamentally wrong with her (about Tenley)...yeah her voice"

"Where did her hand just go?"

"I need a bucket to throw up in"

"Wow, Vienna looks almost presentable...but then there are her eyes...yeah and her man face."

FINAL POINTS:

**points are update on the right**

Well we all got smoked in some of these guesses this week not knowing that Jake would use the word "family" every other word for the first part of the show, so I have simply eliminated some categories that no one was even close in.

Final Choice: unfortunately Vienna, which all but Jen, Bri, Jill and Christine chose (those guesses being out of principle)

Love was said 72 times...with the highest guess of 34 by Park Slope...no points given for this category.

Final Rose was said 5times- giving Emily 15 points for guessing exactly and others points based on how close they were.

Tough/Toughest was not said nearly as often as I thought with it only being said 2 times giving Brittni 15 points for guessing exactly and others points based on how close they were.

Oh my goodness the crying was NUTS!! The highest guess was 5 by Christine when in fact 8 people cried! All got points based on how close they were.

Decision was said a mere 6 times giving Brooke, Emily and Jen 15 points for guessing exactly and others points based on how close they were.

Vienna was said a whopping 52 times and no one was even close so no points were given.

Tenley was said 56 times, again far surpassing any guess so no points were given.

And the final one that we all WAY underestimated was "family" which was said 31 times! Again no points were given

CONGRATS TO EMILY FOR WINNING THIS SEASON!!

Well crew it has been fun, signing off...until THE BACHELORETTE May 24th!!

(keep your eyes peeled for the emails for the next round of true love found on television)

**I will be posting pics from the local finale party on here...please send me pics from your own finale if you have them!**