Gia is GONE...

RECAP

We head to St. Lucia with the Jake who puts his stuff down in his room then poses for a photo/video opp on the balcony.

Then it is time for dates with the remaining 3 that really just involve lots of making out, in pools, the ocean, on the beach, bath tubs...and that is just the first girl! :)

Did this week seem like the same date over and over to anyone else?!

Date #1- Gia

Gia and Jake take a stroll through the cheesy touristy markets to get a "feel for the culture" with the rest of the tourists...then head to the beach where they can make out in the water and on the sand. Then it is time for dinner and a SHOCKING twist of a card from Chris Harrison letting them know they can forgo their own rooms to stay together...and off they go to their rose petals and bubble bath.

Date #2- Tenley

I know a lot of people like Tenley, and I think I would too if she didn't have to talk. I just cringe every time she opens her mouth and out comes the Minnie Mouse voice...ahhhh!!

They take off in a helicopter to see the island (for sure getting a better date than Gia already!) then they land in the rain forest for a picnic and some more babbling conversation. Then they are off to dinner and we all are waiting to see if she chooses to forgo her individual room...

which she does in her squeaky voice and through her bangs over almost her entire face.

And look at that...their own private make out pool and a night of cuddling...

Date #3- Vienna

GAG! A pirate ship, really?! I hope everyone else was ready to puke during the walk the plank scene...blah! I cannot believe Vienna is still here and I cannot believe he thinks she is "smoking hot!!" EVERY week I wonder if he is looking at the same girl I am...

then I realize yes, yes he is and conclude HE DESERVES HER!

After their make out session on the beach they head to dinner where Vienna also chose to forgo her own room and entered the shared rose covered domain and donned probably the classiest thing she has worn this entire season, her white lingerie.

THEN...the NOT SURPRISING AT ALL telephone call...

who could it be?!

It's Ali...being set up to be tv's the Batchelorette!! I'm not the only one already talking about it:

Chris Harrison discusses it here.

And Ellen HOPES for it here.

And after about 2 minutes of Jake pretending he is trying to decide he says no he wants to keep his tramp and his Minnie Mouse and for a few more minutes his swimsuit model.

Then the rose ceremony...where he announces a little bluntly to all of the girls that he is in love with each of them...

then promptly boots Gia.

SO IN SUMMARY

Gia gets the boot...after getting to stay a week longer than she would have...thank you Ali.

Ali gets denied a return to the show...left to work and thinking about Jake...but really holding on to the fact that she will more than likely be the next Bachelorette since ABC seems to now refuse to go with someone completely new!

Weekly blogs: best one EVER make sure you read it here, Chris Harrison's blog here and Jake's lame blog here

Best non-show quotes of the week:

Sparrow (who we sucked in for the first time this week)- "That castle looks like a penis" about the castle next to where Tenley and Jake danced to no music

Sparrow- "does he really sleep with all of them?!" clearly a newbie to this show!!!

Kevin- "shocked that a divorces hooters waitress is still alive afte the "who can give the bachelor the best sex week" just shocked!!

Bri- "no sparrow...they just cuddle all night"

Week 7 Results

**points updates on the right hand side***

Gia sent packing gives Laurie, Brea, Brooke, Jill, Bri, Ellie, Christine, Kevin and Park Slope 10 points

There were 10 different swim suits in the episode which no one guessed exactly but everyone got points for how close they were to the actual number.

Only Vienna said she loved him...the other two reasonable gals saying they were "falling" in love with him which gave Jill and Kevin 15 points for guessing exactly and everyone else points for how close they were to the actual number.

Gia like rattled off like 19 likes during like the episode giving Brooke 15 points for guessing exactly.

Tenley said ex a shockingly low number of 2 times...not saying she didn't talk about him many more times but only called him ex twice which no one guessed she could do!

"The End" was said 3 times giving Brooke, Bri and Ellie 15 points for guessing exactly and the rest points for how close you were.

"Rose" was said 7 times giving Brooke and Park Slope 15 points for guessing exactly.

Ali was said 10 times which no one guessed exactly.

All 3 girls chose to forgo their own rooms and hit up the fantasy suite giving Laurie, Brea, Bri, Ellie, Christine and Kevin 15 points for guessing exactly.

Jake did not cry once, not talking to Ali or letting Gia go...which NONE of us thought possible so no one guessed exactly.

Week 8- Women Tell All

Same structure as this week where you will get point based on how close you are, but negative if you are more than 10 away. These guesses will include any video clips that are chosen to be shown.

1. How many times will inappropriate be said?

2. How many candles will be sitting on the table next to Chris Harrison?

3. How many times will Chris Harrison say ladies?

4. How many times will Rozlyn or (Roz) be said?

5. Which ladies will be chosen for direct interviews (10 points each correct, -5 for each wrong one)

6. How many girls will be wearing red?

7. How many times will "falling in love" be said?

8. How many times will crazy be said?

9. How many audience questions will be asked?

10. How many girls will throw another girl under the bus talking about them?

Then back to St. Lucia for the finale...until then!

Should I stay or should I go....

RECAP

Jake heads out across the US for hometown dates this week.

First stop NYC to meet Gia's family (her mom, step dad, brother and step-brother)

Her brother tells Jake that if he hurts Gia he'll hurt him...all 120lbs of him will for sure do a number on Jake!

Then Jake is off to Mass to meet Ali's family, but only after visiting the empty house of her dead grandmother which is a bit strange. I did love that her mom googled Jake in preparation for the visit. We also learn during this visit that Jake is a wuss when it comes to cold...GET RID OF THAT STUPID SCARF!!

Hometown number 3 takes Jake to Tenley, and what is to be a performance of a lifetime. I really didn't things could get much more painful than their date in Chinatown...but I was Wrong with a captial W!! We spent the next 5 minutes after the dance discussing whether or not that really just happened. Wow...Tenley is for sure too close to the divorce that just happened this past year but somehow she keeps staying.

And last, but definitely not least, we head to the swamp for the hometown with Vienna. I must confess her family is not at ALL what I had pictured as she talked about how her dad kept buying her new cars, etc. Wow...I don't even really know what to say about them! Jake's 1 on 1 time with Vienna's dad is nothing short of blah...just like Vienna. He deserves Vienna if he has not gotten the idea to run and run fast now based on her family AND the hate of all of the other girls!

Then...the DRAMA! Ali must decide to stay or to go...word on the street is that she works for Facebook...a job she doesn't want to give up. Well cheers to you Ali for deciding that taking a chance on this show is not worth throwing your life away. I mean let's be honest it isn't like Jake couldn't come back to you when the show is over anyway, or as we've already seen on a previous season you could go and come back...who knows! No need to be so upset, even though the rest of us are since now it is down to Gia, Tenley and Vienna!

SO IN SUMMARY

Ali self eliminates

the blogs for the week: best blog ever here, chris harrison here, and jake here

Best non-show quotes of the week:

Kevin- Ali's hometown date: Here is my dead grandmother's haunted house. We can't sell it because the real estate market is awful and it looks like something out of the hobbit. Sabrina Soto from HGTV would not help us, but abc was nice enough to try. It can be yours for 35k Jake.

Brea- those girls must be like WTF?! (in reference to the 3 still waiting in the rose room)

Brea- "Vienna is like ding dong the wicked witch is dead" in reference to Ali leaving

Bri- as jake describes Tenley as bright and vivid "yeah just like her dress!"

WEEK 6 RESULTS

**new totals on the right**

Next week we will start up a new way for points as we wind down to the final episodes, explained below, but here are the results for this week:

Ali left the show giving Laurie, Brea, Emily, Brittni, Ellie and Kevin 10 points

Hometown was said 6 times giving Catherine 10 points for guessing exactly

Daughter was said 9 times giving Laurie 9 points for guessing 8 and Ellie 9 points for guessing 10

Stupid laugh, while this category was hard to qualify, we ended up with 11 giving Brooke 10 points

Crying...my goodness the question should have been who didn't cry?! With Gia, Gia's mom, Ali, Tenley, Tenley's mom, Tenley's dad, Tenley's sister, Vienna, Vienna's dad, Vienna's mom, Vienna's sister and Jake all crying Clare gets the points for having the highest guess with 6.

WEEK 7

This coming week you will get points for how close you come to the actual number so that more people are able to gain points. If you are off by more than 10 in any of your guesses you will lose 5 points.

1. Who is sent packing after over night dates?

2. How many different bathing suits are in the episode?

3. How many of the girls tell Jake they love him?

4. How many times will Gia say "like"?

5. How many times will Tenley say ex?

6. How many times will "the end" be said?

7. How many times will rose be said?

8. How many times will Ali be said?

9. How many of the girls accept the fantasy suite?

10. How many times does Jake cry/get teary?

Until next week...

Corrie...leaving her heart in San Francisco...

RECAP

Well I would have to say that this week goes down as one of the lamest so far!

The crew heads to San Fran for a whirlwind of dates.

Date #1- Tenley

I am not sure I can handle much more of Tenley and her voice and screeching! I am not sure how the rest of you felt but that date was PAINFUL! They have NOTHING to talk about...unless Jake again hits up the ex-husband discussion...or they kiss. Those of you that chose Tenley as your bonus person scored HUGE however since Jake said her name like every other word!

Date #2- Gia and Vienna (although it would have been MUCH better if it was Ali and Vienna!)

This date, like any group dates Jake has, was also very awkward. I am not sure AT ALL what he sees in Vienna, especially something that would cause him to call her "sexy as hell??!!" Is he looking at the same person we are looking at?! Anyway, the date was very awkward from beginning to end. From Jake turning this back on Gia while listening to Vienna babble about Ali and the rose ceremony, to Gia and Jake's discussion about how he is with the other girls and whether it is ok to fall, and then Vienna looking for them and getting scared being all by herself in the dark big castle (except for the 5 production people right behind you!), and then to end it all Vienna going to find Jake in bed and I must say him looking pretty annoyed...

Then Date #3- Corrie

If the writing wasn't on the wall last week when she got the cheek peck and hug it was DEFINITELY there while in the boat and they were two inches from each other and then didn't kiss. Then later on in the date when Jake comes to his revelation that Corrie is "saving herself for marriage" she then gets what I believe is a pity kiss...or Jake knowing he is sending her packing but trying to make it seem like the reason wasn't the new info.

Date #4- Ali

Well Ali and Jake seemed to have the most normal date of the whole week, with actual conversations and not just giggles and strage voices...which means she is probably a goner! I searched for the pic of the two of them in the park...but no luck...so you will just have to picture her straddling him while the mom and kid walk by...REALLY?! Come on now!! I think you can tell from my post so far that I am finding this season...and especially this end to the season LAME! All I can say is if they go with the pattern and take one of these cast offs as the next Bachelorette I may have to officially boycott!

SO IN SUMMARY-

Eliminated this week:

CorrieThose left and heading out for hometown dates:

Vienna, Tenley, Gia and Ali

This week's blogs: I must once again stress if you do not normally read this girl's blog you MUST read it...it will make you cry it is that funny...her tagline this week is Virgin Suicide. Click here to read the blog, then there is Chris Harrison's blog here, and good old Jake's blog here

BEST NON-SHOW QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

Kevin: "That's what she said" in response to the number of times so hard would be said.

Joel: "True to all, except I was kind of hoping Michelle would be the next Bachelorette just so ABC would have to deal with their first ever on camera homicide." in response to my email saying I would boycott if any of the girls from this season were picked as the next bachelorette.

Brea: "Oh my...how great would it be if he just busted out On the Wings of Love" talking about the random street performer in the random alley in China town.

Clare: via text "not enough drama tonight"

Kevin: "how many points did we get for mounting Jake in the park while a mom walked by with her child?"

Kevin: "Jake gets -25 for not going all the way and diving completely in the ocean, really is all you got captain america?"

Kevin: "I think his picker is broken"

Week 5 Results:

**updated points on the right hand side**

Eliminated- Corrie giving Laurie, Brea, Bri, Christine, Kevin and Park Slope 10 points

San Fran was said 15 times giving Brea, Bri and Brittni 10 points for guessing exactly

Hard was said 10 times giving Emily and Bri 10 points for guessing exactly

B*#!H was not said ONCE!! giving Kevin 10 points for guessing correctly

Like was said 43 times by the time I stopped counting (thank you Gia) giving Brea 10 points for guessing 39

Bonus Points:

Those picking Tenley wise choice thanks to Jake saying her name so many times! +34

Gia as bonus +8

Ali +19

Corrie +19 (thanks to the pity kiss)

and no one picked Vienna

WEEK 6 QUESTIONS:

1. Who leaves the show?

2. How many times do they say hometown?

3. How many times is daughter said?

4. How many times does Jake do his stupid nervous laugh?

5. How many people will cry this week?

**and who is your final pick? you can keep the same or switch**